I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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