I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
