well you can't waste a boner
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
