we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize