nut hugger
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
