i really wish james franco would like my vagina
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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