Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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