Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
