in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
