he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize