Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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