i think i have herpe
just one?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
