The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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