Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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