i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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