Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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