i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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