Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
