I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
