I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
