Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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