Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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