His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize