Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
