Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
sex in a hospital.. check
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
