I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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