I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
