i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
