Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize