she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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