At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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