Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
