Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
