is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
