is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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