you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
