I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
