There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
