I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
