I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
