I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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