hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
not ubering you a puppy
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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