you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
