It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
The ass gains better be worth it
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