We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
