A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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