So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
