You're a womanizer and a bitch.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
