Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
