i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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