you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
