worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
that's an acceptable place to lick
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
