Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
