ugly people sure do ruin things
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
