I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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