Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
