This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
and you said cock pushups were impossible
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Randomize
