ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
They took my balls.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
