i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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