I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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