Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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