Your face is a jimmy john
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
