Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
