dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
