As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I would fuck him just for his dog
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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