i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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