remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
