he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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