You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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